The Search for ESPN360

My plan to watch the Federer/Nadal final at the Aussie Open in Australia -- an event only 20 times more important than the Superbowl, only with worse commercials -- has been a complicated one.

Since I don't have cable, watching it on TV doesn't seem to be an option. BUT, I did discover that the game will be broadcast live online through ESPN360. A quick tour of their website (www.espn360.com) reveals that they "broadcast" all sorts of things through that channel, if you don't mind watching your sports through a computer monitor, including the Demon Deacons traumatizing loss today to some ACC cellar-dwellers. (Why do the Deacons have to start losing games just when I start caring?? **sniffles**)

In any case, a kink in the plan occurred when I discovered that my internet service provider -- Time Warner Cable -- does not support ESPN360! How could they do this? Apparently AT&T and Verizon both allow a person to watch events online through ESPN360, but not Time Warner. Lucky for me, it appears that I'll be able to leach onto a local stranger's unsecured network to watch the Aussie men's tennis final (thanks "Madam M", whoever you are...). But if Time Warner doesn't start supporting this in the future, I may choose to vote with my dollars to switch horses and give AT&T's internet service a spin.

Time Warner, you are on the clock, and it is ticking!

Another post about toilet paper

This is what they did to the main quad at Wake Forest after the Deacons won a big game against Carolina:I'm not sure how I feel about a university that encourages TP-ing the Quad. I heard that the old basketball coach Skip Prosser even joined in with the students on a couple occasions. Doesn't it feel like officially condoning TP-ing would somehow take out all the fun?

A New Day in Fairweather Land

AP Photo/Chuck Burton

Well, I thought that my local Fairweather season may have come to a close after the Wake Forest men's soccer team got eliminated from the NCAA tournament in December, but it has come to my attention that the Deacons are also fielding an amazing basketball team this season.

It is perhaps interesting to note that my fandom of the University of Illinois' Fighting Illini basketball team only took off after the Illini crushed (krushed?) the #1 Demon Deacons in December of 2004 to catapult past the Deacs and claim the #1 seed themselves.

Oh well... I will go wherever the fairweather winds blow. Go Deacs!

Old Scores to Settle

**DISCLAIMER: Some will find this post to be a little disgusting, I suspect.

As a Seattle-ite and fairweather fan, I was naturally pumped to see the Seahawks go to the Superbowl a couple years ago to face the Pittsburgh Steelers in Detroit. My friend Melissa was a die-hard Steeler fan, and so this provided an opportunity to begin some very pleasurable smack-talk.

Eventually, Melissa gifted me a package of Steelers napkins, and so I sent her this email reply:

"I wanted to thank you for the Steelers napkins that you gave me. Haven't used them yet, but when I run out of toilet paper, I will make sure to use them. This of course will be roughly analogous to what the Seahawks are going to do to your Steelers in Detroit."

Of course, we know how this ended up: some crooked referees ended up handing the game to the Steelers on a silver platter. But that isn't the end of this story. Fast-forward to two days ago, where I got back from my extended trip and found that the toilet paper in my bathroom was gone. What had my resourceful roommate decided to use instead while I was out of town? That's right. The Steeler napkins. I had not told him this story, and yet he also intuitively grasped the most appropriate use for Steelers napkins.

SEE YOU IN HELL, PITTSBURGH STEELERS! The Seahawks just suck so damn bad this year that I'll continue to live in the past thank you very much.

WFU vs. W&M -- a Tale of Two Fairweather Fans

The Wake Forest men's soccer team is ranked #1 in the nation, and so that means this year I'm a soccer fan (just as I became a new Illinois basketball fan when Illinois became ranked #1 in the nation). So on a frigid Tuesday evening, I decided to go to a playoff game with my friend Mike, who faced an interesting dilemma: The #1 Demon Deacons were facing off against William & Mary. Since Mike was an alumnus of William & Mary who now works at Wake, who would he root for? Would he pick his old school, or would he pick Wake -- OUR team, the team that paid his bills?

In the end, he took the wimpy position that he was just rooting for either team to score. As a Deac fan I informed him that his position was "still traitorious, you traitor." But mostly he just wanted the game to end, and as the score stayed locked at 0-0 and the temperature drifted toward freezing, eventually I appreciated the logic of his position. As regulation ended, we faced the prospect of spending up to another hour in the freezing cold between extra periods and penalty shots. Luckily though, Wake scored 4 minutes into the first sudden-death overtime, putting a quick end to the game. Mike and I high-fived and breathed a sigh of relief, and then parted by running back to our respective cars, turning on the engines, and blasting the heat.

Winston-Salem's Contribution to the Olympics

I'm glad that the Cat's Corner Cafe in Winston-Salem is doing its part to help our boy in Beijing:

King of Kong: Just trust me

For weeks, I asked some friends to join me for a viewing of a movie called "The King of Kong." MJ for one asked me to describe it, and I told her it was a documentary about guys that play Donkey Kong a lot. Uh... you're not selling me on this one, she said. Just trust me, I said.

OK, so my sell wasn't very good. (My food sells aren't so good either, it appears... Aaron states: "Your food posts turn my stomach.") But in any case, I somehow conned a couple people to join me in watching this thing, and they ended up loving it. So there, you jerks. I know what I'm talking about. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll definitely mock. I'll just point you to the theatrical trailer and ask you all to do the same thing: just trust me on this one.

Great Feats from the Summer Olympic Challenge

While synchronized swimming and BMX motocross somehow are somehow considered "Olympic sports", I've been taking part in the local multi-sport Summer Olympic Challenge this summer, which has far more demanding physical activities.

I mean, synchronized swimming? Let's get serious.

Ugly Man Symbol with Magical Powers

A couple days ago I was biking to school and noticed a new symbol lining the side of Reynolda Road. I have traveled the streets of Winston-Salem far and wide but had not seen this strange, vaguely menacing-looking symbol. I can only assume that it is an ancient hieroglyph of some sort. Each looked like a man wearing glasses, or perhaps with two black eyes, with a horribly crooked nose and small pursed lips.

I have not figured out the meaning of these odd symbols that now line Reynolda, but they nonetheless appear to be imbued with special powers. Immediately after seeing these new symbols, I have felt new confidence. Instead of zig-zagging through the neighborhood streets of Winston to get to work, I now bike along these symbols on the busier Reynolda Road, more secure that I will not end up a crush of limbs wrapped around someone's bumper. In turn, I've shaved 5 minutes from my commute. Magic...

Strange hieroglyph sighted on Reynolda Road.

Water Sports

I attended a Fourth of July party in D.C. last Friday, and the guests did much to stay cool through the summer heat (let's forget the fact that it rained much of the day). Here's the prescription:

Step 1: Get a Slip-N-Slide.

Step 2: Set up Slip-N-Slide so that it ends about 3 feet from a hard wooden porch.

Step 3: Make sure to drink several cups from keg before attempting to use Slip-N-Slide.

Step 4: Participants should get a running start, and then launch themselves toward porch headfirst at top speed.

What could be safer! We went to a water park the next day, where we got endlessly whistled at by the life guards for unsafe use of inner-tubes at the Lazy River. I was tempted to explain to the guards that we were professionals. After all, we had just survived hurling ourselves at a porch on a Slip-N-Slide while drunk.

Amateurs...

Pre:

Post:

Matt knows: The only way to Slip-N-Slide is Superman-style.