Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Bee Uprising

Less than a day after spotting a bee getting to work on a hive under my garage, I found a new bee doing the same thing, and even further along. I now know that that first bee was not a fluke, but a harbinger of things to come. I dosed the bastard with Raid and plucked down his little handiwork to put as a little souvenir in my kitchen.

The next day, I went into work and was quietly minding my business when a bee the size of my pinky started buzzing around my office, presumably filled with massive amount of venom and orders to avenge his fallen comrades. I paced the office for a good 15 minutes waiting for my moment to strike and then pounded him with a clipboard as he rested on the windowsill. After this I left for lunch and came back an hour later to find the bee upright and walking around, like an aging prizefighter who refuses to stay down for the count. So I clubbed him again (killing big insects is gross, btw).

Basically, it looks like the bees and me have a score to settle. In fact, I'm so sure of this that they even get their own label. Bring it on, you bastards...

R.I.P., Flavio II
R.I.P., Flavio III

5 comments:

Aaron McKenzie said...

Is that a bee or a wasp/yellowjacket/hornet (I don't know know the difference between those three actually)? I've always found the latter to be far more ill-tempered than their honey-making cousins, which I suppose explains the "to stir up a hornet's nest" expression.

Esbee said...

TEAM FLAVIO!

Shanley said...

Haven't you heard? Urban beekeeping is the latest fad. (I'm not kidding.) I vote to keep those bees and make some honey!

Natalie said...

eep! Bees (honeybees) are one thing...those things are some sort of wasp! And wasps are plain evil. They deserve no right to live if they wander anywhere near people.

Just my opinion anyway... :)

vergelimbo said...

Two Bees, or not two Bees...that is the question.The answer is: not two bees.

Those are a type of paper wasp, possibly the Yellow Jacket variety.

Why would you be killing bees in the first place? Shanely is right about urban beekeeping, btw...I am planning on having two honeybee hives at my garden this year.

Phil